Fury

I was tricked
like so many before me
and so many to come

A kiss on the nose
a rose to placate suspicion
the beginnings of doubt

I’m not a victim.
I’m not abused.
I’m just not ready to quit
giving up and giving in

save my life

The questions, accusations, stipulations
the thrum of shots taken
on my loyalty, my truth, my love

Am I where I say I am
am who I say I am
not so sure anymore

Try harder, be better, carry the lies
question the arrogance
just not enough, never enough

I’m not a victim.
I’m not abused.
I’m just not ready to quit
giving up and giving in

save my life

Changing, reeling, yelling, loving
manipulation, capitulation, frustration
lost in the sea, no one in sight

Lines of life severed with a rusty knife
beads of blood on my throat
okay okay okay okay you’re right

Sorry sorry, dry the tears
it’s just that love knows no fears
and this love is too much to throw away

I’m not a victim.
I’m not abused.
But I might be ready to quit
giving up and giving in

Until the bottle smashes overhead
and the screaming flashes a light
into the darkness
illuminating primordial awareness
only the adrenaline
rushes in
my life is in danger
my being is threatened
but I have legs to run

Seasons go by, years take their toll
Fearful eyes turn bold
shameful heart turns cold
running legs plant, take root, take aim
Fury rushes in

I’m not a victim
I survived.
I survived.
I survived.