“I’m Apathetic” – Another Prayer

Creator, breath, life, spirit, being, you know who you are…

My soul sings before you in this sunshine, in this courtyard respite from my gloomy disposition. It’s a Saturday and I want only to be outdoors in this heat, this light, this warmth that feeds my aching soul, not stuck inside, locked in my own weariness. This day is no day for sickness and tears, and yet here they are anyway, and you ask me to confront them. But I just don’t want to. Not today. Let me linger a little longer in these sun-warmed cushions. Let me get a little sunburned as my eyes feast on the vibrant colors – reds, pinks, purples, and the many greens all around me. Let me stay in this sanctuary until my empty cup fills up again.

My body aches with heaviness and apathy. I want only to sleep, to find rest in your light. But too soon the minutes slip away and I must try to find you elsewhere, in the bodies of your children hurting. Help me to find you there, God. Help me to look for you in the dark places. Help me to see your light in a different way. Filly my cup as I encounter your works in hospital rooms and hallways. Remind me to smile, to live in each present moment, to believe I am loved. Give me strength and courage to face the rest of this day with peace and not with this dreadful apathy.

Fill me with your holy breath as I breathe in all Creation.


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